i think i’m suffering from depression. it’s like everything is hitting me at once. i take care of three kids, all under the age of 4. pretty much with no help. my husband is never home and when he is he’s hiding in his room. my mother in law just died and it’s been tough on all of us, exspecially my 3 year old. my dh is incharge of her estate and will not let me help. he says it’s not my place. which is ok i understand to some extent. i still feel like i’m not part of the family.. so yeah i’m depressed. anyone offer any advice.
i usually don’t get to personnal, but i’m on the edge of my seat and don’t know what to do
I am so sorry you are dealing with all this. I think you should remind yourself of a few things.
One, you are dealing with a recent death – this means that grief is raw and immediate. Of course you feel depressed. But it is likely just part of the natural grieving process.
Two, your husband is not excluding you as an insult. He is grieving too, over the death of his mother, and if he needs to withdraw a little bit that doesn’t say anything about you, or about your relationship – just that he needs to process his emotions in a specific way.
I would try to get out of the house with the kids – go to the park, take walks, visit the library, join a mothers club, etc. Right now you are feeling trapped at home, and with that on top of everything else, it isn’t good for you. So focus on making sure that you and your children get out, and eat well, and get plenty of exercise and water and sleep. Those things alone will make you feel better. And the better you feel, the better you can support your husband, and soon the whole family will be healing.
If you are getting really stressed out, you can always take a one minute break to give yourself some peace. Go into the bathroom, lock the door, splash some cool water on your face, and take some deep breaths. It is amazing how much little things like that can help.
I hope things get better soon.
Sorry for your loss. Sounds like your husband is grieving…and you are too. So are your children, in their own way.
My husband has been home from work for the past year. We are newlyweds…celebrated our first anniversary this last March. Tough way to begin a new life together. My husband is suffering from clinical depression. I know we can get through this and he can beat it, but most days it feels like it has beaten us.
I have to consciously decide that I’m not going to let it win. It is very important to still take time to get dressed, put on makeup, do my hair…whether my husband wants to go out or not. Do shower or bathe. Go out alone…just for a short walk. Phone a friend…really, call a loved one and just chat. Play music. Bake something. Live! Laugh together…about something.
Every little effort is worth it.
It helps me, too, to turn to Scripture. I especially like to read the Psalms when I am having an especially bad day. The Lord can carry you through.