my husband and I were invited to a wedding, but my children were not. well i guess they can attend the wedding but not the reception.
Hubby and i are at each others throat over who can watch the kids. all our family will be at the wedding, so thats out. we don’t know anyone or have close friends out here. The bride is offering her babysitter, but it’s going to cost me. now you figure $5 a hour per kid, for 6 or 7 hours that adds up. i won’t be able to afford it.
I don’t want to go, i am not a big party event person, and would rather stay home with the kids. my hubby said i’m embarassing him by not going., since its his family.
I have never been invited to a wedding where kids were not invited.
at the end of the day, this wedding will break me. its not mine
150 for hubbys tux(in the wedding)
120 for babysitting
75 dress for me
100 on dress clothes for kids
100 on wedding gift.
$500? is it worth it
What woudl you do? GIve me advice people,because i don’t know
If you don’t want to go then don’t go. I wouldn’t!
$500?! OMG. That’s just insane. Do what I did, and buy your hubby a suit jacket for $5 at a thrift store – lol. All joking aside, I don’t think it’s unreasonable for you to stay home with the kids if they cannot go to the wedding. I mean, if the bride doesn’t want children to attend, surely she realizes that this would pose a logistical problem and limit some attendees? If not, she’ll get a wake-up call when she has her own – haha. I mean, I don’t have kids but I still realize the logistics of these things. I don’t think it would be at all fair if anyone got upset with you staying with your kids, but families have their own odd dynamics. Is this a very close relative? I would think that most of the attendees would sympathize, a lot of people probably think it’s rude not to invite kids. Can you just politely tell them that it’s outside of your budget to hire a babysitter? And also, how come the kids have to wear dress clothes if they’re not invited?!
If you DO get forced into going, then I absolutely would not spend big money on clothes. You can look really nice without spending a packet. Are there any discount stores in your area, like Ross? And seriously, check thrift stores, too. The $5 jacket I found was really nice, and they had loads of others too – I was surprised. Also, do you have a specific wedding gift picked out? I have some tips on saving on the present, too, if not. Good luck, sounds like a epic pain in the butt!
Sorry, I re-read it. So they can come to the ceremony, but not the reception?! How does that make any sense? I thought the whole reason people didn’t want kids at a wedding was because they didn’t want them to cry while the couple say their vows? The reception is the fun part, it’s just going to be a bunch of adults dancing and partying, so who cares if a few kids make noise? It just makes no sense.
Here’s what you do: Get some inexpensive clothes for yourself and the kiddos. Go to the ceremony, and then go home as the reception starts. Your hubby can stay and eat cake and then come home afterwards.
$500? is it worth it – Is it worth it to you? I mean, do you have it to spend on this event and do you want to spend it on this event? If it is a hardship, then I would do what I suggest below.
150 for hubbys tux(in the wedding) <– If he's already committed, you're bound by this one.
120 for babysitting <– If you pay a sitter for just the ceremony, it is much less. Zero if you do not want to go yourself.
75 dress for me <– wear something you already have or borrow something and attend just the wedding, if you want to attend the ceremony.
100 on dress clothes for kids <– leave the kids with the sitter just for the ceremony, then go home with them if you don't want to attend the reception. I would not take my kids to the ceremony if it meant I needed to buy them new clothing.
100 on wedding gift. <– Seriously? It doesn't have to be this expensive if you do not want it to be. A nice token gift can cost around $25. (Photo frame, etc.)
My husband and I usually decline wedding invitations these days, unless our children are invited (or we are REALLY close to the couple getting married). I know this season in our life is short and so I prefer to send my well wishes through the mail or online. Most couples are so preoccupied by the “wonder and awe” of the day that they won’t even bat an eyelash when you decline. And, besides, they will probably totally understand your reasoning anyway.
Just my two cents…
I think in this economy, people understand when you tell them that it is just beyond your budget, and you will have to decline.
However, from reading your post, I believe it is you and your hubby who are disagreeing…. I think you need to sit down and go over your budget with HIM and decide if you can REALLY afford this wedding. Skip the kids clothes if you can, and tell the B&G that your hubby being in the wedding will have to count as your wedding gift. If they don’t get it or if your hubby doesn’t get it, then I’m at a loss and I think you need to talk to either a religious counselor or a therapist. I’m not being mean, it’s just that times are so tough now that we all could use a little help from people who are trained in these things.
Good luck, hope it all works out.